What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
