belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just cut my nipple shaving
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
