There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
