cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
