1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
