Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
