I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
