i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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