she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
