All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
