I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
