Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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