Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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