I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
