Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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