you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
