get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just pee around me
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
