My room smells like vodka and shame
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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