we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
