How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
