Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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