I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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