Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Sponge bath it is.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize