got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
