I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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