screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you inspire me to be a worse person
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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