pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Come share oat with me in your robe
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
