Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
