I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
