If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just invented taco cereal.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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