he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize