so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
