Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
