I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
