Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
