The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
