So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Boobs speak an international language.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
