I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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