with your own penis?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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