I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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