normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
