whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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