I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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