week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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