i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
