he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It's shark week go big or go home
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
