Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
