He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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