i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
