I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
