If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
