It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize