Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
