I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
