the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
