Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
love makes seman taste better
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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