so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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