well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
