Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
