I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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