dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
