the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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