I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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