He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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