Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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