Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
