Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
